I’ve recently discovered a somewhat astonishing change in my body size. A few weeks ago, I decided to check my body statistics, because the spring clothes that I’m wearing are baggier than I remember. My tape measure indicates that two inches has disappeared from my body, since I documented my physical size statistics in April 2008. As of today, my body has released 32.5 lbs, since I recorded my weight data in December 2007.

I say to all near and far: “I” did NOT “lose weight.” An expected response to such an odd statement is “You didn’t lose weight, of course you did!”

I’m sharing about my individual philosophy of intuitive eating, through the concept of transformative eating, two years and four months after I actually began my journey. So, you’re joining me after the story began. I had no idea where intuitive eating was going to take me. I started the process with the intention of “finding balance.” Experiencing balance was enough for me because I had lived with a chronic fear of “gaining weight” for at least a couple of decades.

Due to what I affectionately call my “conservative and efficient metabolic processes”, I have never needed a lot of food for energy. Unfortunately, using food for emotional comfort became a habit when I was 4 years old. So, my body developed an extraordinary level of expertise at gaining weight. When I overeat or eat fried foods, I sometimes feel like my fat cells are literally expanding.

As many other people will attest, having a larger body size can provide a certain level of physical and psychological safety and comfort. So, a very stubborn part of me has no desire to “lose weight” and puts up intense resistance to the very idea! The body’s natural and strong propensity to settle on a weight “set-point” and my particularly tricky form of resistance is a recipe for no change or weight gain.

I did check my weight statistics six months after I started practicing intuitive eating and incorporating intentional movement. My body indicated no change at all. I felt confused and unhappy when I saw no “weight loss” after six months. Then, I remembered that my quest was to find balance! I had not “lost weight” and more importantly, I had NOT gained weight. The fact that my weight gain fears subsided as I developed a way of eating and taking care of my body that honors my internal signals, makes sense, and feels right is historic.

The authors of Intuitive Eating write that you can get to the “natural weight” that fits your body. Based on their experience with clients, a person may gain weight, lose weight, or experience no change in size at all in the process. I did not truly understand the “natural weight” concept until this point in my practice. As I reflected on the surprising change in my body size, I was uncomfortable with the notion of “losing weight.” I needed to develop a way of thinking that made sense for what my actual experience has been: my body changed sizes in response to my self-care practices.

Additionally, I now ardently believe that “losing weight” is the result of war tactics (e.g., dieting and regimented exercise) used to force the body into submission. This belief is supported by the language that is used in our culture through concepts like “The War on Obesity.”

We keep doing what we have done time and time again. We force our mental will on the body through diet and exercise, which results in weight loss.  In many cases, we eventually find ourselves skipping the gym, reverting back to rebellious and non-intuitive eating habits, and gaining those pounds back. I have felt deeply saddened and dis-empowered by the course of this cycle  in my life and in the lives of others. I’m sure that you’ve observed this pattern as well.

With my intuitive eating practice, I have freely eaten any foods that I like or love. I have visited the gym only once, as a guest of a friend, since starting this path. I discovered that my body is much happier when I invent my own movement practices and walk outside.

I continue to do the work of listening and responding to my body’s hunger and fullness signals, practicing intentional movement, and transforming and working with the thoughts and feelings that inspire me to overeat. In effect, I have learned to get out of the way of the optimal operation of my body’s natural and intelligent regulatory processes. “I” and “my body” have finally established the terms and conditions for an ongoing peace treaty.

Are you willing to make peace with your body and stop the war?

• Here’s a body peace treaty, written by Pat Ballard, author of 10 Steps to Loving Your Body (No Matter What Size You Are)
• To start your peace-making process you can also take a look at the Health at Every Size pledge